Everybody has their thing. Some people play sports, some like to read, and some, like me, drown themselves in music. For me, music is a rain coat protecting me from the storm. The blanket hiding me from the dark. It is a constant source of emotional support that I lean on to a probably crippling degree. Where others would turn to drugs or alcohol after a long day, I turn on my speakers and lose myself in the music for a few hours.
The thing is, I don't even fully understand why music has this affect on me. It could be that the clashing of sounds where some work together perfectly while others will always offer a retort is a perfect reflection of what life really is. Or it could be how it is the embodiment of getting out of your head and living now, rather than in some distant future or past. The goal of a song isn't to get to the end, it is the journey from start to finish that has people's attention. It may even be because you can never be alone when the music is playing. In all honesty, I don't even want to know. That would all spoil the illusion.
You guys all know how those particular days can be; the ones where you feel like the lone needle in the hay stack, or like you just can't keep up with the absurdity around you. That is where music can be the best friend you've ever had. Just put on any song you like and feel the emotion embedded within each note tell a tale of heartbreak, loss, triumphant victory, or anything else you would ever want to hear. No matter the songs theme, the raw emotion in it will always be enough to bring you back to center. If you just lost someone close to you, a song as cheerful and poppy as Havana can still pull you a little closer to equilibrium. As long as you listen to it as if it were a conversation rather than a lecture, you will always be able to pull something of importance from the music you hear. This, of course, can also happen when you are perfectly happy. The pleasure and comfort from music will always be there whenever you need to grab it.
The only thing more satisfying than hearing a perfectly crafted song, is making one yourself. The sense of pride and accomplishment you have in creating something you would proudly play in the car with your friends is mind boggling. The only problem is, it is conversely the most frustrating thing whenever you just can't seem to get it right. You have the sound in your head, you just can't seem to get it into the real world. Where some might welcome this challenge with open arms and see each failed song as a step closer to their Bohemian Rhapsody, it can be unspeakably difficult to see the bigger picture when you have just spent hours crafting something you would be ashamed to play to yourself. The amount of self doubt and plain frustration that can come from a musical venture not going perfectly can do as much damage as the finished product was aiming to fix, leaving you in a neutral state of "nothing gained nothing lost". That is the fine line musicians, or at least I, have to walk every time we get to the studio. Until you find some method around it, if there even is one, you stand the risk of losing out on the satisfaction you were aiming for in making the song to begin with.
In short, I chose music because it is a life in itself. One where I can control the setting, but there is still a healthy amount of uncertainty. One where I can be myself fully with no repercussions. One where I never have to tip toe around potentially sore subjects. One where I actually understand what is going on. If I wanted to be corny, I could say music chose me, but that is far from the truth. Music didn't choose me, it was one of the few things that didn't reject me.
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